The Bariatric Test of Wills …it’s for life


I wrote this to post on a facebook group I  belong to, but wanted to blog it as well.

I am YOU and YOU are ME and in writing this I am reminding US of what we need to do every day for the rest of our lives to achieve what we set out to achieve. I will preface with this: You already know ALL of this and you don’t really need me saying it.  You might be thinking “who does this B think she is”…well…I am YOU!

This morning I was thinking about what tests our will here in WLS land and in addition to just the “every day” of life, just off the top of my head I thought Oh, from October through April we have several “holidays” where food has become a big focus.  Big big big focus, and it’s harder for some than others.

I think it starts at Halloween or really weeks before…candy candy candy as far as the eye can see on the store shelves, candy of all shapes, sizes and flavors.  Nougaty, chocolatey, fruity, gummy, sour, sweet, hot, minty, sugary….candy…

Then we just keep rolling on into the savory richness of Thanksgiving Turkey, sides and pies….good lord when will it end??  Oh not yet, not yet….Christmas…where again, in addition to the same savory richness as Thanksgiving we are back to the haunted shelve of Halloween with the candy candy candy…and to make it even harder Christmas cookies, fudge and other confection are added to the mix.

WTF seriously? How is a WLS gal supposed to survive this?

…whew New Years is around the corner now and we’re almost…oh shit…Valentine’s day?  Really?  How can this be?

The damn candy is back!!! In your face, all around, you can’t walk into the local pharmacy without the smell of it blasting you in the face…it’s got to be almost over right?  Wrong… Easter candy will soon fill those shelve and tempt our fate… bunnies of all confections everywhere, cream filled, caramel filled, chocolate covered, plump marshmallowy sweetness, whether you like peeps or hate them you are still going to be subject to their presence everywhere you go…

What can we do about it being in our face everywhere we go for a 6 month stretch of the year? Can we make it all go away? Unfortunately no…we have to live in the same world as all of this No No food. It’s like a crack dealer around every corner!

Oops almost forgot that day in July when the fatty salads and roasted and grilled meat dishes come to celebrate our nation…no way could we go a whole 6 months without temptation.

But let’s be honest, temptation is there every day 365, isn’t it!!

We have to police our addiction much in the way any other addict in recovery would.  We have to remember that it is an addiction.

I know we all forget…food must be eaten for survival, for fuel…it’s not like we can “just say no to food”. We have to be the strongest addicts of all and choose the right “drug” ie food to keep us healthy and alive and “just say no” to the food ie “drug” that caused us to spiral into a life of unhealthy obesity.  So much easier said than done!

It’s so damn hard and I am right there with all of you in that every single day I am the only one who can make me make the right choice in regard to how I am going to fuel myself, keep myself alive and healthy with the food that I choose.

Do I make good choices every day…No…do I make note of all of the choices that I do make in the way of tracking every single day? Damn right I do, because it is really the only way I can stay accountable to myself.  If I don’t “track” it’s way too easy to let myself slide…piece of candy here, cookie there, crackers, oh I can have those in moderation.

Sadly moderation is a lie.  Moderation…what sets the limit on that?  YOU do! That’s who! If you are “moderately” eating crackers (or whatever it is that plagues you) only at 10am every Tuesday and you are not at your goal or are gaining then it’s not working!

If you are NOT at goal you need to be tracking every day, every single thing you ingest. You need to be low carb, low calorie, high protein. You need to check your BMI and your BMR and set a daily limit of how many calories you can take in in order to still one day get to your goal. You can set them for losing half a pound a week or more, but do it, just set that daily limit and stick to it as close as you can!

If you haven’t quite met your goal and find that you are now gaining you need to be tracking every day, every single thing you ingest. You need to stop with the “how did this happen, how do I fix it” You know how to fix it.  Low carb, high protein, low calorie, track everything.

If you are at goal and you are now maintaining, congratulations to you, the next phase of every day of your life has begun!  Here’s what you need to do.  Yes, you still need to track every day and based on your basal metabolic rate you need to be low carb, low calorie, high protein.

I look at my daily calorie limit like a balance in a bank account.  I can make withdrawals (eat) and I can make deposits (exercise).  As long as that balance doesn’t go below ZERO then I have kept my account in a positive balance for the day!  Will I some days overdraw?  Sure…but much like a bank I am going to fine myself for it…the next day you need to make a deposit to cover that overdraft or leave some funds in the bank to make up for it!

I live in a rural area in the foothills of Mt. Rainier in Washington state and the support group available to me is at 1pm on the 2nd Tuesday of each month…I have not made it to the support group one single time since surgery.  I have come to rely on myself and a couple of online groups including this one to remind myself that I can’t ever go back to just putting whatever I want, even in moderation in my mouth.  You wouldn’t give a crack addict just a little rock now and then.  You wouldn’t give a recovering alcoholic a bottle of beer or shot of whisky now and then…this is our burden…we have to eat.

Choose wisely. Track daily. Be accountable. You know what needs to be done.

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